Dear Billy; Your Mommy had a ugly nose got a guy to cut some of it off! Now she has a pretty nose but it runs.

Dear Mary: Your Mommy was a hippo. She got a man to vaccuum up her fat. Now she can eat all the burgers she wants. They gave the fat to Daddy for his car engine.

Dear Terry: Your Mommy had teeny lil pancake boobies. She got really really big ones put in. Now she can flirt with your school friends and Daddy's boss.

Dear Sammy: Your Daddy had such a teeny lil dinky when he peed he'd go ON the toilet seat because he couldn't get hold of it. He got a man to stick botox into it and now he doesn't need to hold it at all. But he now pees OVER the sink.

Dear Sarah: Your mommy had thin lips and Daddy didn't think they were sexy, so she got the same stuff put in there that Daddy got in his dinky and now she has big fat lips. Daddy likes them way better because they make him think sexy, but they are so hard now she can't smile or move them. Daddy just pees.

Are you children too fat?

Well someone had to explain to the kids why their moms are looking more and more like drag queens and transvestites.